Chocolate Crime
by fictionalcandie
Summary: James thinks a certain opinion is just plain unnatural, so he sets out to change his best mate's mind. [Oneshot, mild slash, JPSB.]


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, so please don't sue me!

**Warning:** Mild slash.

**Author's Notes:** February makes me think of chocolate (it's that holiday on the 15th -- National Chocolate Discount Day). Chocolate makes me think of this?

Reviews are like valentines; everyone needs some!

**o.o.o.o**

"I've decided," declared James, moving in front of Sirius, blocking his view out the window. Sirius looked up, one eyebrow cocked questioningly, but otherwise didn't move. This annoyed James, who put his fisted hands firmly on his hips and glared at Sirius.

After a few minutes of this attention, Sirius relented enough to say, "All right, you've decided."

James waited.

Nothing happened.

"Aren't you going to ask _what_ I've decided?" he asked, taking a step closer.

Sirius shook his head. "Actually, no, I wasn't planning on it."

"Why not?" pressed James.

"Well, because, for one thing, you're in my way. For another, I don't really think I care," explained Sirius rather patronizingly. There was a pause before he continued, "And most importantly, you're going to tell me, anyway."

Now James rolled his eyes expressively. "Of course I'm going to tell you."

"Exactly," murmured Sirius, nodding slowly. There was a searching look in his gray eyes now, as they fixed intently on James's face, but James ignored that.

The room grew silent. James let the lack of sound thicken the air for a few moments, before he prompted Sirius bluntly, "I want you to _ask_ first."

"Oh, right," agreed Sirius easily, that intense gleam still in his eyes.

There were several more minutes of silence -- it was amazing how quiet Sirius could be, and for how long, when he wanted to -- and then James made a low, impatient sound in the back of his throat, and Sirius sighed.

"Fine, fine," he relented, reluctantly. He was leaning back in his chair, with his chin tipped up slightly, so James had a perfect view of the ungracious expression on his face, the slightly pinched, unpleasant look about his mouth and eyes. "What have you decided, mate?"

"That you're wrong," pronounced James, with all the grand benevolence of a person who is absolutely sure of himself and does not care what anyone else thinks.

Blinking, Sirius stared up at James with vague disbelief. "No, not usually," he said slowly, watching his friend warily, as if he had grown a third eye. A purple one. On his chin.

"I know not usually," barked James, removing his hands from his hips so that he could restlessly wave his fists through the air. "But I'm not talking about _usually_."

"Then what _are_ you talking about? 'Cause you've definitely lost me," muttered Sirius, shaking his head.

"About chocolate," James said, as if these two words made everything else perfectly clear. He grinned quickly.

But Sirius was still staring at him with that cool, uncomprehending expression, so James added, "You're _wrong_."

Sirius shook his head. "For once I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," he snapped, his tone almost irritable.

"Sirius!" James protested, sounding a little annoyed that Sirius wasn't reading his mind as he should have been. There was also a hint of a whine there, as if he didn't entirely believe in the other boy's ignorance.

"No, really. I don't. Have you been drinking?" Sirius stood up and leaned forward, his whole face scrunched up, loudly sniffing at the air in front of his friend. "Because if you've been drinking without me, I am so telling Remus, and your arse is gonna be _busted_, 'cause as a Prefect you know he'll tell McGonagall."

"No, I have not been drinking," snarled James, looking very annoyed. He put one fist against Sirius's shoulder and shoved gently, knocking him back down into the chair he'd been sitting on. At Sirius's skeptical expression, he grunted and reluctantly admitted, "All right, maybe just a little."

"Ha!" Sirius stood back up quickly. "In case you don't recognize it, this is me getting up to tell Remus."

"Arse," James snapped, and shoved Sirius again, harder this time. The back of Sirius's knees hit the seat of the chair and he toppled, less gracefully than before, his sprawl still managing to look elegant.

James's chin lifted, his lips firmed as his eyebrows drew together. "It was only a little. I'm going to share once I'm done here, anyway."

"Done doing what?" asked Sirius, eyeing James suspiciously. The other sixth year had started rolling up the sleeves of his robes purposefully.

Promptly, and without stopping, James replied, "Convincing you that you're wrong."

"I'm _not_ wrong," Sirius insisted stubbornly, though he was obviously growing rather wary of his friend.

"You don't like chocolate," retorted James firmly, his voice that of someone who will brook no argument. "_That's_ wrong."

And he narrowed his eyes and glared meaningfully at his best friend, who shifted uncomfortably. James arched one eyebrow, as if just _daring_ Sirius to disagree again. Sirius cleared his throat.

"No, that's _me_. And I _do_ like it, just... not particularly," he muttered, his voice thick and sullen.

James had been nodding along with him, but now he finished sharply, "Which is wrong."

Sirius's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and he peered up at James closely. "Are you _sure_ it's only a little you've been drinking?"

"Fairly," replied James, his voice light again suddenly. "Now, shut up, I'm convincing you."

"And how are you planning on doing that?" Sirius asked, watching with rather too intense interest as James pulled something from the pocket of his robes.

It was a large bar of Honeyduke's Special Dark. Sirius knew immediately, because he recognized the gold foil that James was hastily pulling away from the chocolate. Sirius had seen him do the same thing at least a hundred times over the years. The dark, creamy brown of the chocolate was visible now...

James brought the chocolate to his own mouth and set his teeth around it, tearing off a small chunk and letting it slide back on his tongue -- Sirius felt as if he could hear it melting. His mouth suddenly began to water and he swallowed thickly. Whatever this plan of his friend's was, he did _not_ approve, because if it involved chocolate and James, he didn't think he'd be able to control himself.

"James..." he started to say slowly, conscious of the extra saliva in his mouth and the extra blood pooling somewhere lower.

"Shut up," snapped the boy in question, swallowing his mouthful of liquid sin. Except it was still there, on his tongue, as he spoke. Sirius could practically taste it, and it made him long to stand up, stretch out against James's chest. Press their lips together and rub his tongue along the chocolate-covered one of his best friend. Expectantly, blood rushed to his lips as he licked them without thinking.

Unexpectedly, the bar of chocolate was lowered and presented to Sirius's face, edging toward his mouth. "Here." The tone of James's voice was firm and knowing, the one word a command. Clearly, he was determined about this.

Obediently, Sirius took a bite from the same place James had, not really paying attention to the flavor. He was much more interested in seeing the play of expression on James's face, and the smooth feel of excellent chocolate swimming all around the inside of his mouth, coating it. Now he was never going to be able to think of chocolate without his cock getting hard.

That _couldn't_ be James's plan, could it?

"Good," said James, watching Sirius suck on the chocolate, bringing the bar back up to have another bite, himself. Then he reached behind him and set the sweet down on the windowsill. His hand appeared again, the tips of his first two fingers covered in chocolate that at some point had melted off of the bar. He stared at them rather blankly for a moment, while Sirius licked his lips and thought increasingly dirty things, and then he reached out.

Warm fingers slowly smeared warm chocolate over Sirius's hot lips, and then retreated. James leaned down, and whispered, "Now tell me that you don't like chocolate."

Then he kissed him.


End file.
